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Becoming the Leader, You Were Designed to Be: How Your Circle Shapes Your Future (More Than Your Strategy Does)

MENTOR SBH

Entrepreneurship is less about the strategy you write down and more about the person you’re becoming while you build it. People often think success comes from marketing tools, funnels, websites, or perfect morning routines. But the truth — and you already know this — is that the biggest shift in your business will come from the shift inside of you.


In the East Valley, I meet entrepreneurs every single week who tell me the same thing in different words:

“I know I’m meant for more, but I don’t feel like I’m standing in who I truly am yet.” That’s what today’s free training is about. Not your systems. Not your branding. Not your content calendar. But the most overlooked part of your business growth: Your identity. Your mindset. Your circle.

Because before you scale, you have to strengthen who you are while you're building.

Why Your Circle Matters More Than Your Confidence

You can have vision. You can have talent. You can even have the roadmap. But if your inner circle is misaligned, everything inside you starts to shrink — your ideas, your confidence, your fire, your creativity. Here’s the truth most entrepreneurs whisper but rarely say out loud:

Sometimes the loudest resistance to your growth comes from the people closest to you.

Not because they’re bad people. Not because they don’t love you. But because your growth…

challenges their comfort reveals their fears exposes their unhealed potential Entrepreneurship is a mirror. Your circle becomes the reflection you’re forced to look into.


Research from the Stanford Graduate School of Business found that entrepreneurs surrounded by misaligned peers experience a 32% decrease in self-trust and decision-making confidence, even when their strategies are correct. Imagine what that does to someone building a dream from scratch. This is why real success requires discernment — knowing who should be close to you and who should not be shaping your steps.


The East Valley Is Full of Entrepreneurs… But Not All Circles Are Created Equal

If you're building a business in Gilbert, Chandler, Queen Creek, Mesa, Scottsdale, or anywhere in the East Valley, you already know how saturated the startup world feels.

There are:

  • networking groups

  • coffee meetups

  • mini masterminds

  • content creator circles

  • CEO brunch tables

And while community is beautiful, not every room is right for you.


The wrong circle will drain your potential. The right circle will multiply it.

Ask yourself:

Who around me speaks possibility — and who speaks limitation? Who supports accountability — and who avoids it? Who celebrates me — and who competes with me? Who grows with me — and who shrinks when I expand?

These questions matter more than any marketing plan you’ll ever write.


Why Becoming “Her” or “Him” Requires Losing Something First

Every entrepreneur eventually hits a moment where they realize:

“I’m not becoming someone new… I’m becoming who I always was.”

That moment is powerful, but it also comes with loss.

You may lose:

  • approval

  • friendships

  • comfort

  • predictability

  • the version of yourself you outgrew

But you gain alignment. You gain clarity. You gain calling.

Studies from the American Psychological Association show that identity alignment increases resilience by 38% and long-term success by 41%, regardless of industry.

That means becoming who God actually called you to be — not who others prefer you to remain — is one of the greatest business strategies you could ever embrace.

You cannot build a bold business while staying small for someone else’s comfort.


Three Things Every Entrepreneur Needs to Do Before Their Next Breakthrough

Whether you're just starting or scaling into your next chapter, here are three actions that will change your trajectory this year.


1. Audit your circle with honesty, not emotion

Your circle should:

  • sharpen your thinking

  • expand your faith

  • stretch your vision

  • hold you accountable with love

  • celebrate your success without fear

If someone in your world consistently pulls you backwards, that is not loyalty. That's alignment breaking down.


2. Strengthen the voice inside you louder than the noise around you

Three women in business attire are sitting on a sofa in a bright room, smiling and talking over coffee. A tablet and notebooks are on the table.

Your business becomes whatever your internal language rehearses.

Neuroscience confirms this: Daily identity-based affirmations literally reshape the prefrontal cortex, increasing clarity and focus.

Say it out loud until you believe it:

“I am built for this.” I take aligned action.” I don’t shrink — I rise.” Only good things are attracted to me.”

You are not faking it. You are stepping into who you were always called to be.


3. Stop waiting to feel ready and start acting like who you’re becoming

The most successful founders are not the ones who had the best plan. They are the ones who moved imperfectly and consistently.

They took the meeting. They launched the idea. They invested before they felt ready. They built in the dark long before the applause ever came.

Entrepreneurship rewards movement, not hesitation.


A Free Training Challenge for This Week

This week, I want you to do something simple but powerful:

Choose one behavior your future self will thank you for — and start it today.

Not tomorrow. Not when your schedule clears. Not when fear settles.

Today. It might be:

  • writing the first page of the book you want to publish

  • raising your prices

  • launching the offer, you’ve been scared to step into

  • cleaning up your circle

  • setting a boundary, you’ve been avoiding

  • updating your brand messaging

  • saying “yes” to mentorship

  • saying “no” to something draining your calling

Your next level is not waiting for a new year. It is waiting for a new decision.


Why You Should Listen to Monday’s Episode

Monday’s new episode of No Silver Spoons takes this conversation deeper.

Not repeating what’s here. Not rewording it. But expanding on the truth:

You cannot become the leader you were designed to be while shrinking to fit into rooms too small for who you’re becoming.

If you’ve ever:

  • tried to belong somewhere you weren’t meant to stay

  • dimmed your gifts to make someone else comfortable

  • questioned your value based on other people’s silence

  • or wondered whether your circle can truly hold your calling

Monday’s episode will meet you right where you are.


Before You Go… One Final Thought

If you want a bigger life, a stronger business, and a deeper impact…Start with this:

You are allowed to evolve. You are allowed to outgrow. You are allowed to expand without apologizing for it.

The East Valley is full of noise. But clarity comes when you quiet the world and finally hear yourself again. And when you become her — the woman God designed — or him — the leader you were called to be — everything around you aligns differently. Your circle becomes healthier. Your decisions become clearer. And your purpose becomes louder. Your next chapter is already calling you. Now it’s time to rise to meet it.

SARAH BETH HERMAN

Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Readers should consult with appropriate professionals for specific advice tailored to their circumstances. All efforts have been made to ensure the accuracy of information and references; however, errors may occur. If you notice any inaccuracies or would like to suggest updates, please contact us at hey@sarahbethherman.com. © 2025 Sarah Beth Herman. All Rights Reserved. By using this site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. This post may contain affiliate links, and we may earn a commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase through them. References included where known. Please email hey@sarahbethherman.com


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