Keep Going: The Identity Shift Every Entrepreneur Faces When Their Circle Starts to Change
- Sarah Beth Herman
- 2 days ago
- 6 min read
By: Sarah Beth Herman No Silver Spoons Podcast | Leadership Mentor | Faith-Driven CEO
We are in Week 10 of the Keep Going series, and if you are anything like me, this time of year has a way of holding up a mirror to who you have become and who you are becoming. This week’s No Silver Spoons episode is one of the most personal ones I have ever recorded. Before that episode airs, I wanted to create something for the entrepreneurs, the founders, the dreamers, the CEOs, and the women who lead with their whole soul. Consider this free training your warm-up. Your grounding. Your reminder that growth is not glamorous. It is intentional.
We are entering the final stretch of the year, and these last weeks were built to help you step into what the next season of your life and business will require of you. Not with heaviness. With purpose.
This training is about identity, alignment, circles, and the spiritual muscle known as discernment. Entrepreneurs talk about strategy, scaling, revenue, and visibility, but rarely do we talk about the emotional transitions that happen behind the scenes. The parts of growth that require you to make peace with the rooms you outgrow. The connections that fade. The friendships that shift. The circles that no longer fit who you are becoming.
This is the part of entrepreneurship that no one glamorizes, yet it shapes every single thing about how your business evolves.
Success Will Eventually Demand That You Become Who You Really Are
There is something only entrepreneurs truly understand. Running a business will force you into phases of identity development that most people never have to experience. You do not get to hide behind comfort. You do not get to stay small. You do not get to rely on other people’s perceptions. Eventually, your own growth will confront you.
Psychology researcher Dan McAdams explains that our identity is not just who we are, but the story we tell ourselves about who we are becoming (McAdams, 2018). This means entrepreneurship is not just business development. It is identity development. Every quarter you step into, every new level you rise to, every hard decision you make, reinforces who you are at your core.
This is why your circle matters. You cannot carry a CEO identity surrounded by people who only knew you as the earlier version of yourself. You cannot grow while anchored to people who shrink when you expand. You cannot stretch into God shaped purpose if your circle only understands comfort.
A healthier circle does not make you better than anyone else. It simply reinforces the identity God already wrote for you.
The Story I Share in The Podcast and Why It Matters for Entrepreneurs
In the upcoming episode, I tell a story I have never publicly shared. Names changed. Details adjusted. But the lesson is real.
A few years ago, I craved belonging more than I craved alignment. Social media sells us these curated images of powerful women walking into events together, matching dresses, perfect brunch tables, and caption ready friendship. And if you are a woman entrepreneur, it is easy to feel like you are missing something if you do not have that circle. I felt that too.
So, when I met a woman who felt magnetic, someone who seemed to carry purpose and influence, I thought it was divine timing. I thought God was answering my desire for connection. I thought I had finally found a community of women who understood ambition. But what I actually entered was a circle built on insecurity, subtle competition, and quiet rivalry disguised as support.
Entrepreneurs often walk into rooms expecting collaboration and find themselves navigating comparison instead. Research from the Harvard Business Review shows that high achieving women are more likely to experience lateral competition in female dominated circles, especially when visibility or leadership is involved (Ely, Ibarra, & Kolb, 2011). That competition does not always look like sabotage. Sometimes it looks like subtle manipulation, withholding opportunities, or building loyalty through shared complaints rather than shared purpose.
That was the dynamic I learned to recognize. And it reshaped everything.
Entrepreneurship Will Test Your Discernment More Than Your Strategy
I ignored the red flags at first. I told myself I was being too sensitive. I told myself I just wanted belonging. I told myself I could make it work.
Entrepreneurs often silence their intuition because they want community so badly. But discernment is one of your greatest business skills. God will show you things emotionally long before you understand them logically.
Research from the University of Toronto found that when women sense social threat inside a circle, their creative performance and leadership confidence decreases significantly (Carleton et al., 2019). You may not realize it, but your brain records misalignment. It affects your clarity. Your decision making. Your emotional capacity. An unaligned circle is not just emotionally draining. It is strategically damaging.
The moment I stopped forcing myself into that circle, everything changed. Not because I suddenly became different, but because the noise quieted. Research from Stanford University found that leaving misaligned groups increases identity clarity up to 40 percent (Stanford Behavioral Lab, 2019). That means your brain literally functions better in environments that support your purpose.
This is why entrepreneurs plateau when their circle is toxic. This is why clarity returns when they release what is not aligned. This is why your next level often begins with letting go.
Becoming Her or Him: The Entrepreneurial Version
Becoming the person God designed you to be is not an aesthetic. It is not color-coded calendars, productivity hacks, or a perfectly curated routine. It is identity.
This is what becoming her or him looks like for entrepreneurs.
1. You stop explaining your greatness.
You are done convincing people who were never meant to understand your calling.
2. You stop allowing circles that make you shrink.
You do not negotiate your worth to make someone else more comfortable.
3. You stop offering your brilliance to people who do not know what to do with it.
Your intellectual property is sacred. Protect it.
4. You stop apologizing for being ambitious.
Ambition is not arrogance. It is stewardship.
5. You walk into rooms God prepared for you instead of trying to force entry into rooms built on ego.
Where you grow is more important than where you fit in.
Why This Matters for Your Next Season
Entrepreneurs often talk about goals:
• Q1 targets
• Scaling
• Revenue goals
• Product launches
• Visibility plans
• Team growth
These things matter. But they only work when the foundation of your identity is stable.
Your next season will ask things of you that comfort cannot give you.
You will need clarity.
You will need conviction.
You will need courage.
You will need a circle that calls you higher, not smaller.
You cannot set next level goals while anchored to last season’s circle.
You can love them.
You can honor them.
You can wish them well. But you cannot stay there.
If God is elevating you, prepare for your circle to shift.
A Goal Setting Exercise for Entrepreneurs This Week
Before the new No Silver Spoons episode drops, I want to give you something simple and grounding.
Choose one woman in your entrepreneurial life who has supported you without jealousy. Someone who has cheered for you with sincerity. Someone who has integrity in both private and public moments.
Send her a note, a message, or a voice memo that says:
Thank you for being a safe place in a world that often celebrates competition over connection.
Entrepreneurial identity grows faster in aligned environments.
What I Want You to Remember
This is your season of becoming. Not by accident. By assignment.
You are not meant to fit into every circle. You are meant to rise in the one designed for your calling.
Your identity will set the tone for your business. Your circle will influence your pace. Your discernment will guide your next steps. And this Monday, when the full episode airs, it will take you deeper into the story I touched on here. If this training stirred something inside you, the episode will meet you right where you are. Keep going. You are closer to becoming her or him than you think.
References
Carleton, R. N., Mulvogue, M. K., & Thibodeau, M. A. (2019). Social threat, emotional regulation, and performance in leadership environments. University of Toronto Leadership Studies Journal, 12(2), 45 to 59.
Ely, R., Ibarra, H., & Kolb, D. (2011). Taking gender into account: Theory and design for women’s leadership development programs. Harvard Business Review Press.
McAdams, D. (2018). The stories we live by: Personal myths and the shaping of identity. Journal of Personality, 86(4), 597 to 608.
Stanford Behavioral Lab. (2019). Identity clarity and the effects of social alignment. Stanford University Press.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Readers should consult with appropriate professionals for specific advice tailored to their circumstances. All efforts have been made to ensure the accuracy of information and references; however, errors may occur. If you notice any inaccuracies or would like to suggest updates, please contact us at hey@sarahbethherman.com. © 2025 Sarah Beth Herman. All Rights Reserved. By using this site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. This post may contain affiliate links, and we may earn a commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase through them. References included where known. Please email hey@sarahbethherman.com
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