How to Know You’re Ready for a Mentor (And How to Find the Right One)

Sarah Beth Herman
Apr 17
5 min read

By Sarah Beth Herman

There’s a moment in your journey when the idea of mentorship goes from feeling like something you might need "someday" to something you know you need now. But the truth is, most people don’t talk enough about what that shift feels like. Or how to tell if you’re ready. Or how to choose a mentor who doesn’t just sound impressive, but who actually teaches in a way that works for you.

This blog is your personal check-in, your gut-check moment to ask yourself: is this the time to invest in your next level? And if it is, who do I want guiding me there?

What It Feels Like to Be Ready

Here’s the deal: mentorship is a relationship. It requires commitment, clarity, and capacity. If you're reading this and feeling a pull toward change, chances are you’re already on the edge of that readiness. But let me describe a few things that often show up when you're truly ready:

You’re craving more than just surface-level growth. You want transformation.
You’re tired of piecing together free advice from Instagram and podcasts.
You’re clear that your current systems, habits, or mindset won’t take you to the next level.
You’re ready to be challenged in a way that feels respectful but also non-negotiable.
You want to move faster, smarter, and with more clarity.

Being ready isn’t about having it all together. It’s about being honest that you don’t and deciding to do something about it.

Asking the Right Questions Before You Say Yes

Not every mentor is your mentor. You need to know how to qualify them, just like they’re qualifying you. Here are the questions I ask when I’m looking at someone as a potential guide for me, and they’re the same ones I hope people ask before hiring me:

1. What’s their experience?

It’s not about how many followers they have. What have they built? Have they led a team? Scaled a business? Navigated hard seasons and still kept their integrity?

2. Have they gone where I want to go?

This is huge. It’s not about them being famous. It’s about alignment. Are they a few chapters ahead of you in a life or business path you respect? Can they teach from lived experience, not just theory?

3. Do I understand (and like) their process?

Some mentors thrive on hustle culture. Others build with rest, systems, or spiritual alignment. Do you like how they teach? Can you follow the structure they give? If their process overwhelms you or doesn’t inspire action, you’ll stay stuck.

4. Do I resonate with their energy and presence?

This might sound intangible, but it matters. Does their tone build trust? Does their content feel grounded? Do you feel seen or inspired when you hear them speak?

5. How do they teach?

Mentorship isn't about information. It's about transformation. Are they a coach, a teacher, a strategist? Do they teach visually, with frameworks, or do they just talk at you? The delivery matters as much as the content.

6. Do they ask how I learn?

A true mentor is curious about you. They want to know how you receive, what lights you up, what shuts you down. They don’t force you into a mold. They partner with you for progress.

7. Does their funnel and offer feel professional?

Let’s talk real-world credibility. When you click on their link, do you feel like you're entering a clean, professional, and elevated space? Does it feel trustworthy and elite, not gimmicky or chaotic? These things matter.

8. Are they living their truth?

This is the big one. Are they aligned? Do they live the values they teach? Does their personal story back up the lessons they offer?

When you say yes to a mentor, you're saying yes to stepping into their world. Make sure it’s a world you actually want to grow inside.

What This Should Feel Like for You

If the idea of mentorship feels heavy, press pause. You don’t need a savior. You need a partner. Someone who sees your potential and knows how to guide it, without steamrolling your individuality.

When you’re choosing the right mentor, you should feel a combination of peace and nervous excitement. There should be a spark of, "I can do this," paired with, "This is going to stretch me."

Here’s what I tell people looking to work with me:

If you’re looking for hand-holding, I’ll hold your vision, not your excuses.

Mentorship done right will push you without pressuring you. It will stretch you without snapping your confidence. It will feel honest, spacious, and elevated.

What to Avoid

Let’s be real. There are some red flags that should cause you to pause:

They talk more about income than impact.
They give vague promises with no framework.
They never mention mindset or the human experience.
They make you feel like you need to be fixed.
They avoid talking about the hard seasons.

You want to grow with someone who is willing to tell the truth about what growth really takes, not just someone who knows how to brand it.

Final Thoughts from Me to You

I’ve had the honor of mentoring powerhouse entrepreneurs and emerging leaders alike. I speak at events across the country and hold regular mentor discovery calls to connect with the people I’m meant to guide. But here's what I always say:

“I don’t believe in faking it till you make it. I believe in showing up as you are, owning your story, and choosing your next step on purpose.”

“A mentor doesn’t complete you. They reflect you.”

“We don’t rise by collecting titles. We rise by collecting truth.”

You’re ready when:

You’re done doing it all alone
You’re ready to move from chaos to clarity
You’re open to being taught in a way that honors who you are

And you’re wise when:

You choose someone who’s been where you want to go
You ask good questions before jumping in
You listen to your gut over the noise online

If you’re standing at the edge of a new chapter and wondering who should walk beside you, take your time, get clear, and choose someone who honors your next level like it already exists.

Because it does. And you are not behind. You are just beginning.

References and Inspiration:

Maxwell, John C. The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. Center Street, 2012.
Lima, Jamie Kern. Worthy. HarperCollins Leadership, 2023.
Brown, Brené. Dare to Lead. Random House, 2018.
Herman, Sarah Beth. Mentor Discovery Call Framework. (Internal resource, 2024.)

With heart,

Sarah Beth Herman

Mentor. Speaker. 5x CEO. Creator of Blueprint to Breakthrough® and Host of No Silver Spoons®

Disclaimer: The information provided in this blog is for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice. Readers should consult with appropriate professionals for specific advice tailored to their circumstances. All efforts have been made to ensure the accuracy of information and references; however, errors may occur. If you notice any inaccuracies or would like to suggest updates, please contact us at hey@sarahbethherman.com. © 2025 Sarah Beth Herman. All Rights Reserved. By using this site, you agree to our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. This post may contain affiliate links, and we may earn a commission at no extra cost to you if you make a purchase through them. References included where known. Please email hey@sarahbethherman.com to report missing attributions or inaccuracies.